[maemo-community] Maemo community outreach flyer reboot v2 - final (Community)
From: Tim tim at samoff.comDate: Thu Jan 28 18:01:16 EET 2010
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No. I am the only one with good suggestions around here. Ha ha ha. Yeah, right. :p Concerning design stuff. Nothing critical. 1. Make sure things are vertically and horizontally centered in their "spaces" (e.g., the type within the search box on the top of the flyer isn't quite vertically centered). 2. Adjust the kerning of the type in text blocks that appear to have too much space between words. Don't do it so much that the letters within words are too far apart, but enough so that the words on each line fill the horizontal space adequately. 3. Change the "See the back side of this flyer for more details!" line so that "more details" is on the same line. 4. Remove the slash after "community" on the bottom of the page so that it just reads "/community". 5. On page 2, change the first sentence to that it reads, "Maemo.org is an open source community..." (i.e., remove the beginning elipses). 6. Page 2: Increase the size of the open source components image to fill the space a little more. 7. Change the color photo to b&w (but, is there another comparable image that you can use that's not so blurry?). * Btw, did you ask Toni for permission to use his images? Or, are they licensed under a CC license of some sort? That's it! Nice work, Randy... Long journeys sometimes create great results. ;) Tim -- http://samoff.com Randall Arnold wrote: > It occurred to me that some of the comments below may come across as > insulting to Sebastian or anyone else offering suggestions. My > apologies, that wasn't my intent. I was just kidding around with Tim a > bit. I agree with most of Sebastian's punctuation suggestions and did > not mean to say that Tim is the only one suggesting anything useful. > Unless he needs the ego boost. :D > > Note to self: don't reply when you have such a severe headache. > > *Randall (Randy) Arnold* > maemo.org community council > http://tabulacrypticum.wordpress.com/ > > > > ----- Original message ----- > From: "Randall Arnold" <texrat at ovi.com> > To: tim at samoff.com, "List for community development" > <maemo-community at maemo.org> > Subject: Re: Maemo community outreach flyer reboot v2 - final > (Community) > Date: Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:28:22 -0600 > > Some of Sebastian's suggestions I will implement and some I won't. > Sprinkling commas into text can often do more harm than good as I'm > sure you know. ; ) Plus some of the writing tactics I used were for > effect. > > But I am interested in your design-based feedback, because you have > been objective and specific (as opposed to "I don't like that > color/icon/etc"). If you feel led, share. : ) > > *Randall (Randy) Arnold* > maemo.org community council > > > > > > > ----- Original message ----- > > From: "Tim Samoff" <tim at samoff.com> > > To: "List for community development" <maemo-community at maemo.org> > > Subject: Re: Maemo community outreach flyer reboot v2 - final > (Community) > > Date: Thu, 28 Jan 2010 07:29:51 -0600 > > > > > > > > Hi, > > > > Good comments from Sebastian below -- not all crucial, but some good, > > easy changes that will make it flow a little better. > > > > There are a few niggling design thingies that I could harp on, but > > otherwise, I think it's good to go. > > > > Thanks, Randy. > > > > Tim > > > > -- <http://tabulacrypticum.wordpress.com/>http://samoff.com > > > > > > > > Sebastian 'CrashandDie' Lauwers wrote: > > > Hey Randall, > > > > > > A few comments, apologies if I didn't provide any feedback > previously. > > > I hope it's not too late. > > > > > > On Thu, Jan 28, 2010 at 2:03 PM, Randall Arnold<texrat at ovi.com> > wrote: > > >> Link: > http://maemo-daemons.org/maemo-org_community-flyer2_Maemo5.pdf > > > > > > First paragraph ("A rich technology-oriented wonderland..."): > > > - Can we add a comma after "rich"? > > > - There is too much space after the first sentence and before the > > > second sentence ("community. Heavily"). I understand this is > probably > > > because of layout and design, however it doesn't read well. Maybe > > > "code warriors" could be on the same line? > > > > > > Third paragraph (on the right-hand side), ("We’re looking for > people..."): > > > - Would it be more positive to say: "We're always looking for > people..."? > > > - In my mind, "interests are in" is redundant. Either "you're > > > interested in", or "your interests are". > > > - Again, having the "maemo.org" standing out on itself doesn't seem > > > natural to me. It sticks out like a sore thumb, not as something my > > > eyes are attracted to, or something I'd remember. > > > - The whole last sentence of this paragraph is very long to read > > > (especially on a flyer). Could we break it up or add reading > pauses to > > > make it more easy to understand? > > > e.g.: "Whether your interests lie in coding, user interface design, > > > testing, content management, writing or simply having fun; you're > > > invited to jump in at the edge of technological discovery: > maemo.org!" > > > > > > Fourth paragraph (on the right-hand side), ("The maemo.org > community > > > is actively..."): > > > - "to regional strategy sessions to the annual Maemo Summit.", > there > > > should be a comma after "sessions". Same reason as before. > > > > > > 2nd page > > > > > > First paragraph ("...is an open source community..."): > > > - "more than 900 community development projects in the Maemo > Garage." > > > Isn't "development" seriously redundant in this sentence? Also, why > > > talk about the Maemo Garage and not qualify it? Unless it's within > > > context, I've always highly despised the name "Garage", as it > sounds > > > like a shady corner of the 'burbs. I would suggest removing > reference > > > to the Garage altogether here. > > > - "We work with open source tools and processes. We focus on new > > > software for both the platform itself and on top of the platform." > > > These two sentences should be merged into one. The first one, > on its > > > own, doesn't add anything meaningful other than being a proper, > simple > > > statement. Preferably a semicolon would be used to separate > them, no > > > capitals. > > > - "We focus on new software for both the platform itself and on top > > > of the platform." I have a very hard time with this bit (the > "and on > > > top of the platform"). I don't get it, at all. Maybe a few buzz > words > > > could spice things up? > > > e.g.: "new software both constructing the platform and > leveraging it." > > > > > > Second paragraph ("Maemo is a software platform that is mostly > based..."): > > > - "Nokia in collaboration with open source projects such as the > Linux > > > kernel , Debian , GNOME , and" There are spaces before each > comma and > > > there shouldn't be a comma before "and". > > > - "cross-platform application tool Qt." Qt isn't a tool, it's a > framework. > > > > > > Third paragraph ("At maemo.org you will find more information..."): > > > - "develop with Maemo", in order to not send the wrong message, > maybe > > > we could say "develop for Maemo" rather than with? > > > - "how to make your development work available to users". What > > > exactly is "development work"? How about "how to share your efforts > > > with other users" or "how to publish your creations for other > users to > > > enjoy". > > > - "maemo.nokia.com you fill find more information" /!\ TYPO > (will find). > > > > > > Fourth paragraph ("The community is represented by a council of > > > five persons"): > > > - "every qualified community member" what qualifies "qualified"? > > > IMHO, "every active community member" sends out a more positive > > > message. > > > > > > General comments: > > > - How come only the third paragraph on the second page has URLs > > > (maemo.org specifically) in a bold font? Why not on the other > parts of > > > the flyer? > > > - Excellent work, I really like it! > > > - Sorry for being a criticising bastard. > > > > > > -S. > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > maemo-community mailing list > > maemo-community at maemo.org > > https://lists.maemo.org/mailman/listinfo/maemo-community > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------- > Ovi Store: Get free stuff for your mobile phone > http://store.ovi.com/?cid=ovistore-fw-bac-na-acq-na-ovimail-g0-na-1 > << 2.dat >>http://tabulacrypticum.wordpress.com/ > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------- > Ovi Mail: Available in 15 languages > http://mail.ovi.com
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